JOINING THE CRAZE.

Jaykay, no tumblr for me. And actually, no more blog spot.

I retire from blogging, at least for a while. I don't really need to spill my emotions out, for no reason. I guess that's what friends are for, and I guess, it's what growing up is all about.

I've been growing up alot lately, and you know what, I need to change. I can't just be a bitch about it, and put it up here, hoping someone reads it, and confronts me, or something. I guess, idk.

Well, this time is the last time, to vent out. This is making me sad. I feel like for the past couple months, my life has been documented here. That everything important that has happened to me, has been put down on this place. My own personal journal. My own little bubble, to claim and sort my feelings. It's sad. Hahaha.

It's going to be hard not blogging, but older generations have survived without it. It's just one more step towards becoming a man. HAHA. Maybe one day, I'll just explode with emotion, and I'll need to put something down. Maybe here, or maybe on tumblr. Tumblr always looked so nice to me, but, I already have parts of my history as a teenager here. And I personally pick history > looks, when it comes to blogs. Hahaha.

It's funny, cause everyone's making a tumblr. Maybe I should make one. Idk. Maybe in time. But blogspot, you've been like, a human being to me. HAHAHAHAHA.

WHATTHEFUCK. THAT SHOWS HOW FUCKING SAD I WAS. HAHAHAHAHAHA. When no one was awake, and no one would listen, you would open up, and just let me spill. HAHAHA.

If blogspot were a human, we would be at like, 8th base right now. Hmmmm.

I don't want this blog to end D: My head is throbbing from the anticipation to close this chapter of my life. I feel like, I'm gonna be unstable without this port to shout out my feelings.

Maybe I'm just being a bitch. I've been a pretty big one lately, anyway. Hahaha.

Well, one last emotional trip, here it goes...

What is something, that my heart has been aching to scream. Hmmm...

I'm not ready to grow up. I was a little kid when I started this blog, and I still am. I've grown in alot of ways, but I still feel puny, I still feel that hole in my soul. But there is hope, cause I can feel that hole closing, you know? It's being filled with new-found passions, new people, new friends, old friends, my future, my family, my ever-so-thoughfilled mind, the tears, my fears, and my decisions.

I'll shape into a good person one day, just watch me.

Until then, goodbye blogspot. You have worked my thoughts out in so many ways. I could call you a brother I never had. HAHAHA.

I retire from blogging. For now.

Goodnight everyone, I love you all, and I miss the people who don't really talk to me anymore. I want to change that. I want to keep you an important part of my life.

LOLOLOL, I wonder what you think of this blog, Kirby-at-the-age-of-40. HAHAHAHA.

Just remember that your life kicked ass as a teenager, no matter how negative you feel. You had amazing friends, you had fun jobs, your summers are full of stories, your dreams and wishes have been fulfilled, you were as generous as you could be, you were as nice as you could be, you tried not to be annoying, you made people smile, you made people laugh, and that every morning, you woke up, and smiled and laughed too. And that your family loved you, and that people care about you, no matter what. Your teenage life, was the best it could be. Hahaha. Just so you know, Kirby-at-the-age-of-40, you cried alot at the age of 17. You realized so many things. You started to grow up. And you were proud of who you were. Wherever you are right now, Kirby, you better still be laughing and smiling. You better still be the best you can be. You better love your family, and you better be Kirby.

Goodbye, I love you guys.

Manaloto, out.

10/20/09 10:54 PM =]

Iron Gym!

Soooo...

No L, no D, and Iron Gym doesn't fit on my door.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

Shoot. Time to sleeep. Work tomorrow, fml.

Look how cute I was. Lawl.

Monkey Boxers :D

I have been starting to notice that, I am becoming more independent. I eat dinner alone, I make dinner for myself sometimes. I bathe myself, lololol.

Well, I'm not really becoming independent. I am just starting to become a one man team. Eating dinner alone tonight made me realize that I have not eaten dinner with my family in months. Every night I come home from work, I eat dinner circa 1030pm. I really wanted to use the word circa. HAHA. Then, I wake up, and go to school. Come home early sometimes, eat lunch by myself, take a nap, then go to work. It's becoming pretty routine. Oh well. I never really find my self having time for things I like to do, i.e. Talk to mah fraaans and family, play guitar, play halo, talk to you, etc.

Man, I can't believe eating dinner alone made me feel like that. I am making things bigger than they should be, I presume.

Well, I shouldn't complain, cause at least I have a family, at least I have food to eat, at least I have somewhere to eat, at least I'm breathing, at least someone out there cares about me.

It's hard not to complain, when you take a lot of things for granted, huh?

Manaloto, out.

I am running out of titles for blogs!

Times are a changing, and things are rearranging.

Yay for apathy again :D

Does it surprise you?

Cause it surely surprises me.

I always thought that senior year was gonna be amazing, that everyone would be together again. That we would all hang out, and take pictures, and smile, and laugh, and be fine.

Well, lately, I haven't felt like that. I feel like work is sucking away the life, I once had. But other than work, I felt like I was losing part of my life to school. But other than school, I felt like I was losing part of my life still.

I think lately, I only feel like a handful of people care about me. That only a certain amount of family and friends truly care about me, that people are starting to just, not really acknowledge me anymore.

I honestly feel, different. I feel so much more things on me, trying to make me sad. And it sucks.

Work is already taking hours away, from anything I have left to do in life. That makes me sad too.

Hm, so pretty much, school sucks right now, and so does my status with friendships.

I really don't know what to say anymore. I just feel, blah right now. I feel like I should reach out and touch you, but I don't think I should. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever will be, will be, be it me becoming an acquaintance, or me being a shoulder to lean on. It's pretty much, anyone's call right now.

Goodnight, I miss you guys. Alot.

Manaloto, out.

P.S. - Thanks for everyone, who still makes my world turn. I wouldn't be much alive right now if it weren't for you.

HurryHurry!

If I blawwwwg, I'll be late for work, oh well.

Uhhh...Yeah, work is pretty fun now a days :D

Hmm, talking to you today, father, has made me really happy. I want to create a relationship that we have never had.

Uhh...I feel like I never talk to Bomban much anymore. Actually, I feel like I don't talk to anyone much anymore. I've been starting to feel like I'm not really part of that many peoples' lives, because of work and school. I feel like I've lost a big part of me.

Uhhhhm...I think I might have to be Kim's escort for her debut! I don't know if I'm happy, scared, or yeah. I'm excited!

Hm. Tyler, I really want you hang out with you alot again. I wish I was smarter, so I could halp you. Sorry about calculus and all that jazz, I can't help. Hahaha.

Hmmm. GYM tonight, but my wrist and elbow hurts. FML.

New protein jar :D HELLYEAH.

Hmmm...idk what else.

Time to go to work.

And by work, I mean, drive with my BA sunglasses and listen to Daylight.

Bye guise. See you soon, hopefully.

Manaloto, ouuuut.

Luh luh luh luh!

The crystal ball is on,

and I can see it all.

I see how much, this is going to blaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Uhhh, wow. Bye.

Breakfaaaaaaaaaast.

You are all I thought about, Darryl.

I miss you.

Walla Walla, Washington.

It feels weird waking up, and the first thing you do is blog.

It's really refreshing listening to my blogspot song, and just relaxing. It opens up so many portals in my mind, however, it can be good or bad portals D: Hahaha.

Right now, I'm feeling particularly good. Last night was really fun. Actually, since I got out of school, the day got progressively better and better. Ohhh man. You guys have no clue, how amazing my Friday was yesterday. I would poop in a cup, and make a milkshake out of it, just to repeat that day. HAHA.

I find it funny how slow time becomes when you are eager. 4B, on a Friday, 1 hour left. I swear, it was like, 3 hours. I just wanted to leave, and head to my destination, my home. Oh well, I haz to cherish all of the time I have left as a high school student.

Man Tyler, it was really nice seeing you yesterday. It sucks how we don't see each other as much because summer is done. But still, if you ever want to come to a social event, and you have no ride, I'll always be willing to pick you up. I never dislike your presence. You bring such a good vibe with you, a vibe that can really help people be happy. Like me! I am just like, ten times more happier when you are around. Also, I think you are one of the reasons behind my motivation to be someone nice. You see a lot in me, because you look up to me. I really thank you for that. I'll try to never let you down. Haaha.

Bomban, it was pretty lol yesterday with you too. We talked about the randomest shiz yesterday. Like how Mason was a black sperm. HAAHHAHA. And that thing on the roof was Marlon's brother. HAHA. I'm really glad that I kept you in my life, and that we can just laugh about the gayest things, but also have serious talks. You're one of the few people I am completely open with nowadays. Thanks, baby. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You aren't going to talk to me for 3 months now. HAHA.

Well, breakfast time! Then work! Bye guys :D

Manaloto, out.

I love being happy.

Today I worked from 1700 to 2100, and it was actually pretty fun. That one guy knows my name, and people are starting to talk to me more. It's not like school, where I'm just a "shadow", as Daniel describes. Hahaha.

I don't think I have ever been this happy in a while. So many factors contribute to how I am so happy. Easy day at work, having a job, listening to my blogspot song, having food waiting for me.

I felt appreciated today. It was nice.

Hmm...I don't know what else to say. I know I'm not gonna do my math homework yet. I'll do it tomorrow.

No work tomorrow, so that makes me :D

APICS was pretty fun today. I am head of the birthday committee GET SOME CUUUUUUUUH.

MY doggy Bambam is actually here keeping my company. Maybe he's finally starting to like me after like, 4 years. Hahah.

I just love, how things seem when you are happy. Everything seems so magical. Like I shouldn't care about anything in the world right now.

I really don't know what else to say, I just feel, so content right now. Thank You for giving me another day to breathe. Uhhhm...Goodnight!

Manaloto, out!

P.S. Happy 100th, blogspot. You have done me well so far, so let's keep it up =]

Oh.

You know why.

I'll break the sky

for you and I!

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while, I think. Nor have I taken a picture with mah webcam. It feels weird. Hahaha.

Well, today has got to be the single most, boring day of my life.

English was gay like always, except we had to fill out college applications. It really makes you feel like shit when you don't know what's gonna happen to your life. Hahaha.

Lunch was pretty fun, except that Mexican casserole. I would pay another 2 dollars if I could go back in time to prevent myself from eating it. It made me feel sick. Well, it was nice talking to you later in lunch, Wendy. So that made it not as gay.

Math Analysis was boring. So was the walk to and fro. Well, I got a 93 B on my test. I think that is the highest I have ever gotten on a test in her class, including sophomore year. Hahahaha.

Government was reallly boring. Holy crap. It was just me and that girl, cause Kim was somewhere. Wtf, that girl is so awkward. She copied my quiz verbatim, and then cheated yo fix the questions that I got wrong. Oh yeah, she's pretty generic looking. She doesn't really seem that cool.

After school was gay, there was nothing to do at all. So much, that I just went home and pooped, and now I'm here. Everyone is doing something, idk what. Some people went home, some went to the mall? idk. Oh, the doorbell just rang. Maybe it's my mom. I feel like I should talk to her. I haven't really conversed with my mommy in a while.

Idk. And then I have work at 430. How fun. The day is just going to keep getting better. Oh joy, lucky me.

Hmmm...I should eat. And maybe stop by practice. Aw, it wasn't mommy, it was ate chelsea. I'm sad again. HAHA.

Well, today has got to be one of the gayest school days of my life. However, I still managed to smile throughout the day, and until now. I still feel pretty happy on the inside.

Thanks for the hope you have given me, to the little hope that I have left.

Well, maybe I should just nap. Maybe God made my day boring, to make me tired, for this nap, to keep me awake at work? HAHA. Idk. It's cool. At least I was blessed with another day. It shouldn't be TOO gay.

Manaloto, out.

I don't think yesterday couldn't have gone any better.

Unless like, I won the lottery or something. Hahaha.

The senior trip was amaaaaazing. Regardless of the 2 hours of sleep I got before the trip, I didn't sleep on the bus ride there. It was really funny though, going to sleep at 5. Cause the closer it got to 7, the more I didn't want to sleep. Actually, I'm pretty sure you're the reason I didn't want to sleep.

It seems like yesterday was another "Self-Realization" day about a lot of things. That we're all growing up, and changing.

I got to the school, and I parked in the bus loop. It was lol. The first face I saw of the day was Ronnie. When I saw him, the I started to think about how we looked when we were younger. Ronnie, you have really grown up, inside, and out. Back in 7th grade, you were cute, like, just cute. Hahaha. But now, you've become one of the most good looking guy friends I have. You are a really nice guy too. It's no wonder how people like you. You've become a much more mature guy. You can control your emotions, as compared to other people. People always slip up, but I know you can handle yourself. I'll always be here for you, if you ever need me. It's crazy how we're growing up.

On the way to Six Flags, I was with you a lot of the time Ronnie. It made me realize, how long I've known you, and how you are one of my best friends. I mean, we're not the closest of friends anymore, but I'm just glad you're there. You have helped me so much, in ways you probably don't even know. Whenever I look at you, I can't be anything but thankful.

Not only did I sort of, analyze things about Ronnie, but I analyzed things about you too Nghia.

When we got to the park, I claimed you as my roller caoster buddy. It was pretty funny, because we recorded ourselves throughout the rides. I spent alot of time with you at Six Flags, and it made me realize, that you're pretty much the friend that I have spent the most time with. Few thing in my life will ever match up to our friendship. We have spent countless hours together, be it hanging out, or actually doing things that matter. I get so pissed at myself, when I think of the time I treat you so shitty. I take your friendship for granted.

I really wish, I treated you like a best friend all of the time. It seems like there are times, where I just act like a dick towards you. There are just times, where I get mad at you. For shit that I shouldn't get mad about. I really want you to stay in my life, after I grow up and everything. I want you to see my family, I want you to visit me, I want you to keep in contact, I want you to be there, and to play an active role in my life, always. I'm sorry about all of those times I treated you so badly. I should change that, huh.

Well, through out the trip, I thought about you guys alot. But I also managed to have a lot of fun. Including-

1. Trying to find ways to get comfortable was pretty lol.
2. Singing different songs on the bus.
3. Playing wanna buy a duck, and boomchickaboomboom, and all the other games.
4. Synchronizing iPods with Ronnie. It was so funny, cause we would always make that face at each other, when we finally managed to synchronize them.
5. The pictures we took on the way to Six Flags.
6. We got to hang out with Brandon again. I swear, moments with Brandon are some of the funniest moments of my life.
7. Eating that crappy Jolly Rancher Candy Gummis on the way to Six Flags.
8. All the talking we did on the way to Six Flags!
9. Changing in the bathroom, and screaming "IT'S EVERYWHERE! OH MY GOSH. MY HAIR."
10. Getting off the bus, and taking a group picture!
11. Seeing all of the wasps and bees the whole freaking day.
12. Walking around, and pointing out all of the ridiculous things me and Brandon saw!
13. Riding the first roller coaster of the day, felt amazing.
14. The wooden roller coaster was really fun! Wooden roller coasters are so fun!
15. Free food :D We beat the traffic, and we also had a lot of extra food. It was crazy. Hahaha.
16. Singing on stage with Gaylord. It was so fun. Lately, I've had more confidence in myself, to do things and just confidence in my individual self lately. Maybe it;s because I'm starting to feel like an adult?
17. The cows were actually really fun! Hahaha.
18. Superman was amazing. The drop had me screaming. But the second time I rode it, I kept a straight face. HAHAHA.
19. The Batman ride was freaking ridiculous. Oh my gosh. You're laying down, and facing the ground. Just hanging there. Wtf is that, seriously.
20. Eileen and Nesly got funnel cake! I'm not that big of a fan of funnelcake. Hahaha.
21. Riding the small, non-crazy rides were pretty fun! I liked the merry go round, and the swings.
22. The bus ride home. Hahaha.
23. The first half, everyone was talking, and having fun, and then out of no where, people started to just fall asleep. Hahaha.
24. The scary stories actually made me tear up. There were some really scary stories man.
25. The couple behind me was pretty...gross. Honestly, I felt like crying.
26. Pictures :D
27. BOW TIE :D
28. Our "No Shirt" Party. That included only 3 dudes. HAHAHA.
29. Feeling that sense of friendship between us all, was amazing. I loved it so much.

I wanted to at east get to 30, but, this blog is getting lengthy. And "The Sun and The Moon" is about to end. Hahaha.

Overall, going to Six Flags was so fun. Every moment of that day felt me with joy, but also small hints of sadness, because I mean, dang, we are losing time as kids. Hahaha.

I got home, and stayed up till about, 4 oclock, I want to say? I don't know, the clock wasn't what I was paying attention to. It was something much more than that.

Well, I am going to just, lay around or something until work. Bye bye :D

Manaloto, out!

P.S. This blog took me so long to write. Like, 3 hours. SIKE, you dewdew face :D

Home from work.

Maybe the desire to stay out all night, is me just hiding from my self.

I feel like staying out all night will mask up how I'll feel if I stay home. And then Six Flags will be another good way to escape myself. But what about after all of that?

What about work on Sunday? The rest of the school year? The rest of the time that I feel so, shitty?

Ahhh man, I really don't know. I hope I don't just explode.

Until then, I better smile and laugh.

Hmmm. Bye bye.

Well....actually, maybe things aren't that bad. I feel my life picking up speed. And it's exciting! I am actually excited about it for once. It's weird.

Hahahaa. Wow, mood swings. Maybe I'm on my period D:

Manaloto, out!

The only thing I've learned in psychology.

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts."

So this is what having mixed emotions feel like. It feels like there is a tornado
inside of me, tearing up all of my insides.

And it sucks.

Well, idk what else to say.

Goodbye, and Goodnight. Sorry, and Thanks.

Time for bed.

Manaloto, out.