I had a really, really, really, sad blog up. But now I feel fine. I don't know if I should lol at my moodswings, or be worried.
But right now, I feel happy. Maybe because I actually feel sleepy! Hahaha.
Here are clips of the sad blog!
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Lately, I've been thinking about how I want things to change, and how I also want people to sort of, put up with me.
How can I change, if I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. No clue at all. Up at 6:30, thinking about things, and getting only shit. My thoughts are and always have been full of bullshit. It sucks.
I need to change. I need to learn to deal with people. I have had one sided thoughts my whole life. I thought I knew, but I didn't. I'm just so damn ignorant
I wish reality would slap me in the face, and show me what I have to do.
I feel like a toilet. People pour stuff into me, for help and such, but I spill out worthless, empty bullshit.
I want to blame you, but I know I can't blame you at all. I can't point any fingers at you Erica. I've always been this unstable. Hahaha. You're obviously doing better than I.
If this made you sad, whoever reads this, I apologize. I hope I can change in time.
As of now, I don't even know if this is how I feel. My eyes are straining, my hearts heavy, my breathing is irregular. I hope it's just my mind wandering when I'm alone, and I hope these thoughts don't manifest and eat the insides of maaaaaah body.
You know what, forget you ever read this. Bye.
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Wow yo, I was super harsh. Maybe the lack of sleep is what effects psychological sicknesses the most. Hahahaha.
Lesson of the day: Sleep is good.
Hahaha. but I still feel lonely! Wow, the sun's already peeking through my window. Hhahaha,.
I haven't prayed for a couple hours. Man, I really do become a different person when I lack sleep. My mind become a portal, or more of a magnet, for negative thoughts. But now, as I tire, I feel relief, and comfort.
My sleeping schedule sucks, I hope I can fix it before school. Hahaha.
Someone make me feel important tomorrow. Hahaha. Goodnight, universe :D
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
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